Growing Up In A Multiracial and Multiethnic Family

"Help!  My Extended Family Just Doesn't Get My Mixed Heritage!"

"Why do you ________?  Is it because your mom's _________?"

"Your hair doesn't look like our side of the family's.  It's all ________."

"But you're also ________.  So why don't you ________ like us?"

Sometimes family members (including us!) don't get it right.  You don't want to alienate everyone who says something like the above, but you also want to change how some of their comments/questions come off as hurtful.  Life as a mixed person: it's tough!

Here are some tips for resolving your "extended family vs. mixed heritage" issues!

Resolving Extended Family and Heritage Issues Like the Awesome Mixed Person You Are!

• Use "pride"
• "Yeah, haha, my hair is __________.  I love it!"
• Whether it's a physical trait or a cultural practice, let them know that you LIKE yourself and the ways that make your mixed identity and/or family different.

• Talk to your parent(s)/guardian(s) about the situation
• If you're having issues, odds are your parents/guardians have encountered small issues involving relatives and your multiracial, multiethnic, blended family too.
• Without "attacking" your parent(s)/guardian(s), come up with a course of action.
• "Learn to live with it" and its variations are not a solution!!!

• Talk to your siblings (if you have them)
• If you're feeling hurt in any way by comments/questions about your mixed heritage, your siblings might feel simiarly.
• Consider talking to your siblings then talking to your parents.  Strength in numbers! :)

• Confront your relative(s) directly
• Let them know exactly how whatever it is they say hurts you as a multiracial, multiethnic, blended, mixed person and why.  For some, this option may be the most difficult.
• Try to be direct and polite.  My hope is that they didn't intend to hurt you.  I understand that it's hard not to lash out when you're hurt, and yeah, maybe they deserve it if they were being hurtful on purpose.
• (I never claimed to be a saint!) :P

How do you and your extended family get along with mutiracial and/or muliethnic heritage?  Do you have any tips for sometimes prickly family matters?  Let us know!

Leave a comment or question in the box below if you'd like "Growing Up Mixed" to cover a certain topic.  As always, this blog is a safe space.  Till next time. :)

Be silly!

<3 Elise "The Mixed Blogging Chick"